You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry

anger

For you Marvel comic fans, this warning is instantly recognizable as the catchphrase of Bruce Banner before he transforms into the Incredible Hulk. Unfortunately, when you and I get angry, we can’t blame over-exposure to gamma radiation for the outburst that follows. The root of the outburst is a fallen nature that is prone to react in ways that are not just harmful but downright sinful. As Christians, we need to understand that anger is not bad behavior in itself, but rather an emotion that can lead to bad behavior—or good behavior.

Anger is involuntary.

God created us as emotional beings, and anger is an involuntary response that can be an effective defense mechanism. When you face a threatening situation, your body responds with increasing blood pressure, a rush of adrenalin into your bloodstream, dilated pupils, and muscles tension. In just a few seconds, you went from absolute calm to DEFCON 4! It’s completely natural to feel that way. The emotion is involuntary; only your response is voluntary. You will always have a choice, and that choice is the difference between “being angry” and “sinning not.”

When is anger good?

In (Ephesians 4:26) the Bible says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.” Obviously, if we are commanded to be angry, all anger cannot be sinful. Christians are not called to passivity, which is a lack of action, rather we’re called to obedient action. Jesus drove the money changers out of the temple in anger. His anger was motivated by a zeal for God’s honor. Whenever we act in the heat of anger to defend God’s honor or to stand up for what’s right, I don’t think it’s sinful.

Obviously, if we are commanded to be angry, all anger cannot be sinful.

I readily admit I have anger issues. It is wired into my genetic make-up, and I must constantly depend on God’s grace to keep me from reacting in a bad way. But I have also been angry and have been satisfied that my actions were justifiable. I’ve rebuked people in anger for profanity or taking the Lord’s name in vain. I had peace that my attitude and actions were not displeasing to the Lord. I didn’t feel convicted at all. Remember, it’s not the emotion but rather your response to it that makes anger good or bad.

Know when you’re vulnerable.

Not all anger is stirred by threatening circumstances. I find that I’m most vulnerable to sinful anger when I’m fatigued, irritated, busy, or embarrassed. These negative feelings tend to keep me on edge where it doesn’t take much to set me off. For example, someone corrects me in front of other people and my embarrassment can easily turn into anger. I resent being put on the spot and at that point I may be tempted to be defensive and counter attack. That’s why the verse goes on to say, “give no opportunity to the devil.”

Repression, expression, or confession?

There are three basic responses to the emotion of anger. Two of them are unhealthy and one is not.

1) We can repress it, internalizing those feelings and attempting to push those thoughts from our minds. I believe that this is a wrong response. It can be psychologically harmful because those repressed feelings usually have a way of coming out in other forms, like depression and anxiety. One’s physical health can also suffer through repressed anger.

2) Another wrong response is expression. Dr. James Dobson talks about seeing a statement written on the blackboard in a 6th grade classroom: “Hatred is stored-up anger. Therefore, getting mad is a loving thing.” Well, in certain situations that may be true. But it’s certainly not true all the time. Yet, increasingly people are encouraged to vent their anger and give expression to it. Again, it all depends on the circumstances. We need to check our motivation. Do we wish another person harm? Are we reacting selfishly? Are we intent on revenge? All these responses are sinful expressions of anger.

3) There is a third, biblical response: we can confess our complete dependency on God. The spiritually mature learn to take the matter to God in prayer. At any given moment, we can simply turn our hearts to the Lord and ask him for the wisdom and strength to do the right thing.

The Bible calls for restraint. We are admonished to be “slow to anger.” Solomon wrote: “Like a city that is broken down and without walls is a man whose spirit is without restraint.” (Proverbs 25:28) To practice self-restraint, believers must daily depend on the Holy Spirit. We need to remember that God ordains life’s irritations, hurts, disappointments, and frustrations to teach us patience and help us mature.

God ordains life’s irritations, hurts, disappointments, and frustrations to teach us patience and help us mature.

Shortly after we moved to Maryland, my wife had a job interview for a position that would bring her into daily contact with customers. She was asked, “What would you do if an angry customer came in and began to berate you and the company.” Judith replied, “Well, the Bible says a soft answer turns away wrath,” so I think I’d just stay calm, speak softly, and try to help him as best I could.” She got the job. Acting with restraint has its benefits.

Let me leave you with what I believe is one of the least-practiced verses in the Bible: “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21) The next time you get angry with someone, don’t turn into an angry hulk. Rather, turn the situation into an opportunity for good and see what God can do through you.

Some practical, biblical guidance on how to be angry and “sin not.”