We live in an age of rage, and nowhere is this more evident than on our nation’s highways. According to a report by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), the number of traffic fatalities from “road rage” is more than twice that of drunk driving. In 2014, over 21,000 people died in traffic accidents brought on by anger. The city of Chicago is well known for its murder rate, but most of the homicides there involve relatives and friends and are labeled crimes of passion, vis-a-vis, “anger.”

As unsettling as these statistics are, a distinction needs to be made. Some people mistakenly think all anger is wrong. It’s not. In fact, anger can be an expression of love. If someone attempts to do your family harm, anger would be an appropriate response. The opposite of love is not anger but apathy: love cares enough to get angry when that which is loved becomes threatened. Jesus’ love for his Father’s house roused a righteous anger that drove the money-changers from the temple.

The problem with anger is our susceptibility to legitimize illegitimate anger. It’s possible you’re covering up for sinful anger by rationalizing it as “just being a passionate person.” It’s easy to justify anger by making excuses or blaming others. So, to avoid these pitfalls, here’s three ways you can determine whether your anger is sinful or not.

1. Sinful anger is all about you.

Sinful anger springs from focusing on yourself. Ask yourself, “Am I taking myself too seriously?” and “Am I angry because my expectations aren’t being met?” Are you fuming because your schedule was changed, your rights were violated, your opinion wasn’t taken, or your presence ignored? Righteous anger, however, is fostered by focusing on God. When the Lord’s name is scorned or his cause mocked, do you feel an indignation that causes you to defend God’s honor?

2. Sinful anger damages relationships.

People lose their jobs, their reputations, and the respect of family and friends because of anger. The Bible says, “An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.” (Proverbs 29:22 NLT) Some guys admit blowing up and say “but then it’s over. I don’t stay angry.” A hand grenade doesn’t last long either, but it can inflict great physical damage. Anger often inflicts great emotional and psychological damage. If anger has alienated you from others or caused stress in a relationship, it’s sinful anger. On the other hand, righteous anger always acts to protect and defend relationships.

If anger has alienated you from others or caused stress in a relationship, it’s sinful anger.

3. Sinful anger lacks discernment.

The Bible says, “A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.” (Proverbs 19:11 NASV) In other words, sinful anger acts without thinking.

Righteous anger acts based on conviction or principle, whereas sinful anger is usually a reaction to circumstances beyond your control. There is wisdom in the old idea of counting to ten. Use discernment to identify the root of your anger. Most often, anger occurs when we lose one or more of the following:

• Comfort - We often become angry because we’re hurt. We hit a finger with the hammer or banged a shin on the trailer hitch and explode in anger. It happens. Perhaps someone’s words caused you pain and the emotional discomfort makes you angry. When we get hurt, we tend to hurt others.

• Control - Frustration often leads to anger. You’re hindered from a goal or forced to wait, provoking anger. The Bible says anger is like kindling a fire and impatience just adds fuel to the flame. It helps to remember that you’re never really in control and therefore you can resign as manager of the universe. Righteous anger is controlled by the Holy Spirit, who directs us to act in a constructive manner.

• Confidence – Many men get angry when their pride is threatened or when they feel trapped. Guys that seek confidence in their standing with others are highly vulnerable to anger. They get upset when snubbed or when people fail to respond in the way they want. Again, this is an anger that springs from self-centeredness.

If your anger is motivated by selfishness, if you’ve alienated others by your anger, or if you tend to react in anger without thinking, you need to recognize it as sinful and repent. The Bible says, “He that covers his sins shall not prosper but whoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)

I leave you with a quote from A.B. Simpson:

Beloved, have you ever thought that someday you will not have anything to try you, or anyone to vex you again? There will be no opportunity in heaven to learn or to show the spirit of patience, forbearance, and longsuffering. If you are to practice these things, it must be now. Each day affords countless opportunities to learn, so let us not waste them.