According to the Merriam-Webster app, one of the definitions of an assumption is “claiming something is true; taking for granted a proposition or notion.” Another definition stated, “a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.” Now an assumption can be a harmless thing, like assuming your friend will be on time. Or an assumption can be a really good thing, like assuming most people have good intentions.

However, there is a point at which assumptions become sinful: when we believe something about someone else that is not true (or lacks proof), and we let our attitudes and actions toward them be shaped by that lie. Human nature is prone to believe the worst about others, and we sin against God and others whenever we unfairly judge them.

The Bible instructs us to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4) Too often, we disobey Paul’s command by making assumptions or jumping to conclusions based on false or incomplete information. Allowing yourself to operate this way is not looking out for the interests of others. It's arrogant because you are acting as though you're God, assuming that you have an omniscient view of another when you do not.

So, here are a few ways to keep your assumptions in check:

1. Don’t assume something to be true after hearing only one side of the story. Rather, acknowledge that you may not have all of the facts. Ask yourself if there is another perspective you should seek out. e.g., The reality is that the blame for a failed marriage does not always lie solely with one spouse. Further, we can be sympathetic to someone who has been hurt by another person without condemning that person. Give the supposed offender the benefit of the doubt. To help heal the hurt, you will need to talk to both parties to ascertain the truth that sets free.

2. Don’t assume someone’s countenance reveals the truth underneath. I’ve heard stories about people who were always upbeat, always wore a smile, were apparently very happy, but who ended their own lives. Too often, we make the mistake of thinking the happiest people are the ones who smile the most. As believers, we need to be sensitive to the Spirit’s promptings to reach out to people who seem just fine. The happy face may be hiding a heavy heart. We cannot always see the hurt, but we can make sure that person sees our compassion and concern.

3. Don’t assume a different approach is wrong. How many times have people within the church deemed something as wrong because it was done differently? You’ve heard the old sayings, “we ain’t never done it that way before” or "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Oftentimes, these assumptions come down to personal preferences and presumes that there is nothing worthwhile to learn or explore. It’s simply a sin to assume something is wrong just because it doesn’t suit your preferences. We may be on different roads while heading in the same direction.

4. Don’t assume you’ve been intentionally mistreated. When others fail to treat you the way you think they should, it’s really more about them than about you. Don’t respond sinfully to their problem. Don’t assume you were intentionally forgotten, left out or ignored. While we cannot know why people do what they do, we can control our response. After all, "good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." (Proverbs 19:10) It’s our own sinful pride that responds to someone’s lack of concern, attention, or courtesy a personal affront.

5. Don’t assume people you love will never hurt you. The Bible succinctly says, “We all stumble in many ways.” (James 3:2) Nobody’s perfect. I think it was C.H. Spurgeon who said, “Even the best men are men at best.” Years ago, I offended someone in our church and when I apologized for the offense the person yelled, “You’re a pastor! You shouldn’t have to ask for forgiveness.”

It’s a pipe dream to think pastors, or anyone, can never disappoint or offend others. We all have feet of clay, and to expect people you love and respect to never disappoint you is simply naïve. We should all strive to live above reproach, but none of us will ever live above sin. This doesn't mean we pretend "wrong" is "right", but it does mean that Christians are all called to sacrifice, extend grace, and have an attitude of forgiveness towards others. Indeed, this is exactly what Christ has done for you.

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The best way to avoid wrong assumptions about others is by recognizing the incredible grace God has extended to you. Only then, will you be able to extend that same grace to others. Brothers, let us strive to obey Paul’s instruction to assume others better than ourselves.