Back in the mid 70s, Ed Bruce and his wife Patsy co-wrote and recorded a country song entitled “Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys.” It’s time somebody wrote a similar song about snowflakes. The term “snowflake” derives from Chuck Palahniuk’s 1996 book Fight Club. The exact quote reads, “You are not special. You’re not a beautiful unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”

According to Palahniuk, the term refers to a generation that is “overly sensitive and thinks the world revolves around them.” It was one of Collins Dictionary’s words of the year in 2016 and added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2018. The Financial Times defined “snowflake” as “a derogatory term for someone deemed too emotionally vulnerable to cope with views that challenge their own, particularly in universities and other forums once known for robust debate.”

Conventional wisdom asserts that snowflakes are lazy, weak, self-absorbed, and possess an overblown sense of entitlement. They find it difficult to cope with criticism but are quick to dish it out. They lack a competitive spirit and the grit to see things through. Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson made this inciteful comment about them: “Social media made you all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.”

So, are you raising a snowflake? How would you know? Here are a few signs that your offspring may grow up to be a snowflake:

1. They are ignorant of God.

They have no interest in the Bible or spiritual things in general. If there’s no theological education taking place in the home, and if they never hear their parents talk about God in his greatness and majesty, their perception of God will most likely be skewed. Their earthbound, self-centered focus will keep them from seeing anything above them.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Since snowflakes often mistake themselves for God you have to pound sound theology into their brains or chances are they will think the world revolves around them. They need to know the holy, all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present God who loved them enough to give his Son to die for their sins.

2. They are lazy.

One sure way to make sure your kids turn out to be snowflakes is to do everything for them. Helicopter parents hinder a child’s ability to learn from their mistakes and find creative ways to solve their own problems. So don’t do for your child what they can do for themselves. Teach them to work hard and make them work hard. Force them to do what they don’t want to do. Making them work for what they want teaches them to appreciate what they achieve.

3. They are self-centered.

The first word out of the mouth of a snowflake is usually “I.” “I need this, I don’t want to, I just want, I think…and so forth.” If you allow your children to be self-focused they’re going to miss out on one of life’s greatest blessings; rewarding relationships. Getting them involved in some kind of service where they have to put the needs of others ahead of their own will help them see the importance of serving others and can change their entire perspective.

Snowflakes typically don’t appreciate what they have. As I mentioned in my previous blog, we’re all born with a sinful nature, so children have a natural tendency toward ingratitude. Although capable of beautiful acts of generosity and kindness, children still must be taught to be thankful. Click here to read a few suggestions to help you do that.

5. They are undisciplined.

Kids often make bad decisions. Protecting them from those poor choices keeps them from learning a critical life principle: our choices have consequences (see Gal 6:7). The purpose of discipline is to teach this vital lesson. If you fail to discipline those bad decisions and don’t warn your children about consequences, you’re basically telling them that any choice they make is good simply because it’s their choice.

So Dad, don’t let your babies grow up to be snowflakes. Teach them the fear of the Lord, make them earn what they get, involve them in service to others, insist on gratitude, and discipline those choices that lead them astray.