Affirmation in today’s world isn’t just clicking a “like” or “love” button. Nor is it flattery, which is often insincere praise motivated by selfishness. We flatter people because we want to be liked, gain influence, or avoid consequences. In Scripture, flattery is usually mentioned in negative terms. The psalmist observed, “everyone utters lies to his neighbor, with flattering lips and a double heart they speak.” (Psalm 12:2)

Affirmation, on the other hand, sincerely attributes worth to another person for the purpose of encouragement and building them up in the faith. On a personal level, we should ask ourselves, “How am I purposely affirming others in my sphere of life, whether at church, at work, or in my neighborhood?” The Apostle Paul was a pro at this. Consider his words to believers in Colossae.

We always pray for you, and we give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News.

This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace. (Colossians 1:3-6 NLT)

Paul’s affirmation of the Colossian believers was God-centered encouragement offered sincerely and truthfully. Biblical affirmation builds up others without puffing them up. It’s an observation of God’s grace working in their lives. It could be recognizing a person’s perseverance through difficult times, their generosity to others, their humble leadership, or their consistency in serving.

Verbal affirmation isn’t the only way to edify others, since God created us with a need to know we’re valued and appreciated. Giving someone your undivided attention and listening to understand communicates that you value them. Giving gifts, spending time, and sharing experiences are other ways to affirm others. Human affirmation ultimately points to the eternal value seen in us by God, who gave his Son to die in our place so that we might be with him forever.

You may never know how your affirming words or actions will impact others, but genuine affirmation doesn't worry about that because its focus is on the building up of others, not its own impact. However, you probably do know how others have blessed your life through loving affirmation, and just knowing that God affirms us in Christ should be motivation enough to affirm others.