“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.” Proverbs 3:27

Last week, my thoughts centered on doing good, specifically, the blessing that comes from serving the needs of others. Today, I want to focus on the object of our help: “those to whom it is due.” The verse itself implies something important- help is not owed indiscriminately. That raises an honest and necessary question: Whom are we obligated to serve when it comes to doing good?

Answering that question requires discernment.

First, discern whether help is due.

How do we determine who is a worthy recipient of our benevolence? Sadly, there are charlatans in the world who are skilled at exploiting the generosity of others. While this may sound harsh, those who habitually prey on kindness are not truly in need of help. For that reason, a measure of investigation is often necessary to understand a person’s real situation.

Should extending grace come with no strings attached? Are there boundaries to generosity? I believe there are. When someone is unwilling to receive spiritual counsel, continuing to provide material assistance may ultimately do more harm than good. Our acts of kindness should always aim to open a door for the gospel. Yes, we ought to fill a man’s stomach before attempting to fill his soul, but if he refuses any relational or spiritual engagement, then continued benevolence may need to stop. At that point, it may be best for him to seek help elsewhere.

Second, discern the results of helping.

Any form of assistance that weakens a person’s motivation to work, grow, or provide for themselves is ultimately misplaced. History has shown that in some regions, repeated relief efforts have unintentionally discouraged people from cultivating their land, leaving them waiting instead for the next delivery of aid.

Closer to home, America’s welfare system has often fostered unhealthy dependency, undermining personal responsibility and character development. Even well-meaning parents can fall into this trap- making life too easy for their children and unintentionally nurturing self-indulgence rather than maturity. True help should strengthen character, not erode it. Therefore, we must carefully ask whether our assistance is genuinely helping or quietly hindering.

Third, discern the resources available.

Quite simply, you cannot help everyone. You must determine whether you have the means to assist in a given situation. Good-hearted people often take on burdens they were never meant to carry. If you lack the money, knowledge, time, or opportunity to meet a particular need, wisdom may call you to refer that person to someone better equipped to help.

It is your responsibility to discern what is truly in your power to do, and to draw appropriate boundaries without guilt or self-condemnation. Jesus Himself did not heal everyone or feed every poor person He encountered. When faced with human need, He acted purposefully and prayerfully.

So when you are confronted with opportunities to help, be discerning. Seek the Lord. Follow the promptings of the Spirit. Not every act of giving is loving, and not every refusal to give is unkind. Sometimes, what looks like help may actually be a hindrance.