It is sadly ironic that, despite the incredible amount of information and resources available about love, sex, and marriage, divorce and marital problems continue to abound. More people are waiting longer to marry, while others have given up on marriage altogether. Yet Scripture makes it clear that marriage was designed by God for human flourishing and to illustrate the sacrificial love of Christ for His bride, the church.

Before his brutal murder, Charlie Kirk regularly encouraged young men on college campuses to grow up, get married, and raise a family. I wholeheartedly concur. Our God-given purpose as men is framed, in large measure, within the structure of home and family. Unless you believe God is leading you to remain celibate, you should plan to follow Charlie’s advice.

The Bible teaches that husband and wife are together “heirs of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). Marriage plays a profound role in our sanctification. God ordained that a man and his wife become pilgrim partners to walk through life together, helping one another become by God’s grace what they could never become apart.

Writing under divine inspiration, Peter instructs husbands to “dwell with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel… so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). The idea of dwelling with your wife suggests more than simply sharing the same address. It speaks of intentionally sharing life together. I see at least four requirements in Peter’s words.

1. The Physical Requirement - Spend time together.

Time is one of the most valuable gifts you can give your wife, yet it is remarkably easy to neglect. Work, children, hobbies, phones, and countless other demands can gradually turn husband and wife into little more than roommates who happen to share a house.

One report suggested that focused, screen-free, one-on-one time between husbands and wives averages only 10 to 30 minutes a day. Whether that statistic is precisely accurate or not, the point is well taken: marriages need meaningful time together.

As a pilgrim partner, make daily communication a priority. Put down the phone. Turn off the television. Look into her eyes and talk. Ask questions. Listen. Share your heart. Make sure that meaningful communication is not an occasional event but a regular part of your marriage. You cannot grow close to someone you rarely spend time with.

2. The Intellectual Requirement - Know your wife.

Peter says husbands are to live with their wives “in an understanding way.” In marriage, ignorance is not bliss. In fact, it can become a pathway to estrangement.

It is the responsibility of every husband to learn his wife, to understand her needs, fears, moods, dreams, disappointments, and preferences. That requires more than knowing what she likes for dinner or what size dress she wears. It requires paying attention to the person God has entrusted to you. And that requires listening with your heart and speaking the truth in love.

The husband who eventually says to his wife, “I never knew you felt that way,” may be telling the truth, but he is also revealing that he wasn't paying close enough attention.

Your wife should not have to compete with your phone, your work, your hobbies, or your television for your attention. Know her. Listen to her. Learn her.

3. The Emotional Requirement - Honor your wife.

Peter says husbands are to show “honor” to their wives. Your pilgrim partner is not your servant, your adversary, or your emotional punching bag. She is your companion and fellow heir of God’s grace.

Strive to be her knight in shining armor. That may sound old-fashioned, but there is something wonderfully biblical about a husband who intentionally protects, cherishes, encourages, and honors his wife.

Happiness in marriage is often composed of small kindnesses. Unfortunately, big resentments can grow out of small hurts. A thoughtless word, a dismissive attitude, a forgotten promise, or an unwillingness to help may seem insignificant in the moment. But repeated small hurts can eventually create large wounds.

It has been said that in marriage the wife is the thermometer and the husband is the thermostat. Whether or not that analogy is always accurate, it makes an important point: husband, you have considerable influence over the emotional atmosphere of your home. Your words, your attitude, your affection, and your kindness help set the temperature.

4. The Spiritual Requirement - Walk with God together.

Peter concludes with a sobering warning: “that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

How we treat our spouse affects our relationship with God. A husband cannot neglect his wife and expect that neglect to have no spiritual consequences. When we become detached, selfish, harsh, or indifferent toward the person God has given us as our pilgrim partner, our fellowship with God is affected.

Marriage is not merely about getting along until death do us part. It is about walking together toward eternity. Your wife is your pilgrim partner. You are traveling the same road, facing many of the same trials, carrying different burdens, and depending upon the same grace. You need one another.

So, talk together. Pray together. Worship together. Forgive one another. Encourage one another. And when the road becomes difficult- as it inevitably will- don't abandon your partner. Walk together.

Marriage is one of God's most precious gifts in this life, but with that gift comes great responsibility. Your spouse is not merely the person you married; he or she is the person God has called you to walk with. So be a faithful pilgrim partner.

And make sure that when you finally reach the end of the journey, you can look back and say, “By the grace of God, we walked it together.”